谢谢你

又是你

谢谢你曾经那么痛恨我，让我再也不怕别人的严鄂。

谢谢你曾经那么讨厌我，让我再也不怕别人的讨厌

谢谢你曾经说了那么狠的话，让我再也不怕别人的训话。

谢谢你曾经伤透了我，让没有任何人可以比你伤我更重。

我好无助哦~

就不能回来吗？

真的很不喜欢这样的我。

对不起。对不起每次因为自己的不开心然后会那么的自然连接你，搞得自己更不开心，哭得更凶。

对不起，每次看完偶像剧男女主角甜蜜伤心，我会那么的自然又想起你。又让自己不开心。

对不起，我没办法和中学的那班朋友做朋友，因为他们是你的朋友。想起你，又会伤心。

对不起，现在的你在我的世界里，好像没有开心的回忆。

...............好像从以前开心，我俩应该有很少开心的回忆吧~

很多很多的不开心，憋着好累。

想

我一个人在房里，我想过很多可能性。

我在想，【如果】我们可以像【5年前】那样两个人可以单独相处，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】现在有一位像你【5年前】那么的了解我，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】你还像【5年前】那样顺从我，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】我们到现在还是和【5年前】那么的合拍，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】我在【5年前】没有那么的没大脑，你就不会生气我，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】我在【5年前】接受了你，然后就算我们现在是分手了但我们曾经有过一段回忆，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】 我没有在【5年前】的那天推开你，那有多好啊。

我在想，【如果】我们在【5年前】的那天晚上大胆一点，那有多好啊。 

===========================================================

我在想，【如果】很多很多的【如果】。

如果你知道，我到现在还在伤着，你会怎样？

如果你知道，当初你的一时气话让我痛不如生，你会怎样？

如果你知道，在我的人生里真的只有你最懂我，你会怎样？

如果你知道，我现在会哭的原因全是因为你，你会怎样？

如果你知道，那天你说出现在我不会是你的好朋友让我心疼到现在，你会怎样？

那句话，真的真的很伤我的心啊！

你知道那天你说那句话，我正需要你的安慰但你还火上加油。

我听了，我当场哭了起来。

你没有立刻安慰我还骂我起来了。

你真的不知道，这句话很伤人吗？

而且，我才发现我在你的心目中真的连一颗灰尘都不如。

我不敢了。

电话号码删除了，我不会再找你了。

对不起，让你曾经有位让你感到反感严鄂的人在你人生里出现。

我会消失的。不会再来烦你。你要幸福下去。

 还有，谢谢你曾经冲动的对我做里那件事。

起码你让我留下那短暂的拥有。

回来了

很久，真的很久很久没有这样了。

本来我就差那么一点点能成功的，可是又失败了。

我去kao zai却失败，然后又让我想回你。

我们真的不应该再见面了，真的很认真地说，真的不能再看到你了。

你又害我想起很多我们以前的事了。

不是，是他们不断谈回以前的是，不断的提起。

我说过不能，真的不能提起这些事！一个都不能。

而且为什么在他的女友面前那样的折磨我？

虽然我是笑的，但是我的受不起。

一个人哭，没人能倾诉，头脑不断的想啊想啊，哭啊哭啊~

你觉得我可以吗？

妈呀，我已经21岁了。

我在大学快4年了，在这4年里，除了和朋友的时间，上课时间，你就这样不断的折磨我！

可以对我公平点吗？

My First Time, My Brave

Such a long time never update my blog although nobody read my blog.

haha... I got feel to update my blog suddenly just because I wanna show how brave am I.

Recently, I did something that I never ever did before in my 21 years' life.

Guys, know what?

May be I read too much of quote or meaningful movie, 

I read lots of quote about 爱是要争取的.

Sometimes I feel such quote so Noob actually,

so I don't even bother about it.

BUT!

recently, I agreed with that.and I started some action. 

I interested in someone, and he do not know who am I.

and I, go and be friends with him by FB.

such a big brave I did have. 

Seriously, really shy DAO BAO ah!

He seem like not interesting on me.

but I got try to chat with him.

If it's still not work, I think I'll just give up.

Cz really not suitable at all. haa xD

Oh yeah!!

hmmm..
Guess what?

just now I have a fight with Airasia again..

Which mean I brought ticket to somewhere to play again..

1st , I wanna to say : F*ck You Airasia!! keep on waiting room!!

But after few hours, I succeed!!

I brought for KL to Macau!! RM461 per person.. Included luggage and seat.

is that expensive??

dunno whether expensive or not.

and now I am damn worry.

Cz I scare my parents going to "suk me gao gao"

Aug I am going to Phuket and now Jan 2013 I am going to Macau.

I haven't earn money but I am wasting my parents money now.

I know I am bad, but I really hope to have some nice memory with them.

I will try hard to earn some money and save money!!

Mum n Dad sorryy!!! >.

Big Bang Alive Album!!

O.M.G!!!

Today I got it !!! I got it!!!

Is Big Bang Alive Album!!!

Wth!!!! This time that Album design is freaking cool!!

It is cover with iron... and the booklet inside!!

Two words to describe........"Cool & Heavy"

Check it out here!!

Alone Life---4 years

Guys, I going to talk about my alone life.

During this 4 years, how I pass my life.

I think should be start on when I started my college life in INTI here.

In 2009, I leave my town, my family, my friends
*Ops, should said I don have any friends on the time*

I came here study with no one,
without my family.

We can say that I really started my brands new life in INTI.

During the 1st year here, I was freaking enjoy and happy.
Well, brand new what. Is really interesting.

But actually is it not that fun at all,
I been hurt by a lot of ppl that I knew from here.

However, I got a sweet from the hurt.

In 2010, that was my really happy started.
I knew my really friends here.
5 of them, I never ever forget about them.

I started to hang out, dinner, singK, travel and many more with them.
We got a lot of memories.

After the joyful with them, I will back to be alone.

How to say?
Lets talk...

After hang out with them, I back to my room and I am alone again.
After dinner with them, I back to my room and I am alone again.
After singK with them, I back to my room and I am alone again.
After travel with them, I back to my room and I am alone again.
After be with them, I will again and again to be alone in my room.

Well, I got roommate but she not alone at all.
She always stay with her bf.

But why I will alone?
Just because I'm single for 4 years and I use to be alone.

Yet, I got my family.
But after I be with my family and I back to my room,
AGAIN!!!! I AM ALONE!!

Actually, I'm scare with alone.
But such a long time to be alone, I will feel so lonely.

Sometimes,
I wanna to talks but I have nobody to listen.
I wanna to cry but I have nobody to lie on.
I wanna to laugh but I have nobody to laugh with.
I wanna to emo but I have nobody to talks.

Everything like to shows me like,
actually I got my friends and family,
but in fact,
I am alone, actually.

Well,
I may be have to be normal with this. =)

blogging~

Wow, such a long time I did not post anything here.

Today I going to blog,

I just dunno why, just feeling to emo again..

Haaaa... WTH is that!

Again and again, my life is belonging with him.

He is not my BF, and even now we are not friends too.

But,
why everyday I will think of him suddenly?
why he will affect my mood?
actually, I got a lot of "why" to him.
Yet, I never ask him about my "why".
Because of I got no chance.
Or may be I not find the chance to let me ask "Why".

can we have a meet?
That just only me and you, because I got a lot of things wanna to tell you and ask you.

I know you are having a great life with your lover,
but I scare when doomsday is come, I got no chance to talk with you anymore.

I trust that doomsday will come in a day, but I dunno when.

I try to find you in many times,
I got your Fb, phone number, address.
But I never go and find you.

Because I scare that you will once again hurt my heart.

But I really need a long talks with you,
I just to heal my heart.

can you?
since now you are having a happy love life.
but I'm not.

I need a boy

Today I get pissed off again~

=O

今天的我，

还是一样high不起来～

可能还是因为他吧～

都那么久了，为什么我还在原地踏步啊？

虽然感觉不是那么累，

可是厌倦了～

真的好想告诉他，我还在想他。

3年以来，我和他以前的每一件事，

不断地不断地在我的脑里打转。

每一句我伤你的话，你伤我的话，到现在还在我脑里。

好讨厌....

真的很不喜欢一个人静静的时候，

头脑就是不停的想东西。

而且还是偏偏是你的事。

想了又会哭，哭了又能怎样。

你知道吗？别人知道吗？

嗯～没有人...因为是我一个人。

我一个人知道而已。

但是我一个人，我会撑下去的。

哭完了，第二天没事了。

就算第二天也是哭的，没关系。

因为还有第三，第四，第五，第六....

到一百还是那样。

没关系，就这样到永远吧～

因为现在的我是完全.....不懂怎样说～

我只是真的希望就那么有一天，我会好起来....

突然好想大醉一场，或是来点刺激的事吧～

因为一件事在心里已经3年了，

可以说，目前为止没有一个人懂我和他的事吧...

只是靠着自己，用自己的心和自己的心来心谈心...

我真的很想让他懂

我的心是在想什么，可是真的不能～

因为现在的他已经有了新的生活，新的开始..

他和我不一样，

他可以什么都忘了，开心的和自己的生活一起生活。

而我怎样都很难忘掉，就像刺青那样，狠狠地印在我的心里。

为什么这几年来，没有救星来救救我啊～

我现在很混乱，因为我不懂是我自己害我自己那样的呢，

还是别人，还是上天，还是命运，还是什么东西吗？

每次坐在电脑，我已发呆就一发不可收拾了，

因为我的头脑很坏哦，又让我想起你了。

为什么那天要让我和你见到面啊？

不见到就不会想到，不想到我就不会这样。

而且看着你对我的态度，我的心真的很痛很痛。

我已经很努力避开你了。

FB，电话，MSN，只要能联络到你的东西，我一个都没有。

可是为什么就是忘不了？好奇怪哦～

以前我都以为我不是因为爱他才会那么的伤心，

而是因为我真的很在乎这个人啊！

才会因为3年来，我那样的痛。

你知道吗？

What am I?

WTF?

This week I quite down,

Why?

Just because I found something that I shouldn't know.

I'm quite regret

to read it,

if I din read it, I won't be sad,

if I din read it, I won't cry like pig,

if I din read it,I won't be so suck.

Guess what I

read?

Hmm.... someone's Facebook which I had been hide him for long time,

Just because I don't hope to know any single thing about him,

BUT!

I'm suck, I go and view his profile,

and I saw some post from him & ppl post on his wall.

I saw that, he went to KL play and met up with my another friends,

Why I will be so sad with this, uh?

When I free, I will try to contact them,

hope to have a meet with them,

because I treat them as my friends,

BUT!

everytimes FAILED!

It's ok, maybe they are really busy.

BUT!

that day they all went out to play,

they never call me or contact me,

hmmmmm....

I quite sad..

Hmmm....

NOPE!

I FUCKING SAD!!

I really just realized I'm just nothing at all,

I cried cried cried,

why I have to cry?

just hurt.

I think I really got problem in Friendship this line.

回来了

这个我又来了，

感觉上每当快要Final Exam的时候，我都会不开心。

这次的我，比上次更不开心。

因为........我哭了。

我想是应该我真的很怕很怕...

很怕悲剧重演......因为我真的会承受不起了....

我又在很努力的，很拼命的读...

可是这样有效吗？

因为我觉得我不行.....我做不到...

越是那样我越怕，非常的怕...真的很怕...

再加上我不是聪明人....我不懂我能不能...

但上次证明了，我不能。

我有一直在努力，努力...

但我觉得我不是那么的了解我所读的一切..

我很累很累...我快要崩溃了...真的很辛苦啊～

再加上，

我觉得我和我的朋友们，有变化了...

我又再一次融入不到了...

我需要一个人，我现在真的很需要了。

不能了，我真的不能那样一个人了。

我一个人呆在外面，没有了家人，我真的需要一人来陪我了。

因为我支撑不起了。

好久没那样大哭了。

exam result

I start to admin that..

I really a stupid..

guess what..

I got F in my exam result..

which mean that....

I failed one subject..

what subject is that...

is QUANTITATIVE METHODS FOR BUSINESS..

something like statistic....

I failed that subject...

I am an accounting students...

I failed calculation...

I only got C2 for my accounting...

C1 for economic and financial...

B2 for english...

what I have to say... is...

I never got a good result...

some more... I got getting worse and worse result...

everytime, once I got my exam result..

once and once again shown that how stupid am I..

Isnt I never try my best?

I din study? I din work hard? I din use my brain?

God, can give me an answer?

why once I work harder my result will be the worse?

am I blowing off now?? or I still don want to accept the truth?

why? why have go give me such knock down to me?

I can't, I really can't accept this attack...

I will fall down, seriously I fallen down already.

I couldn't trust myself anymore, I lost my confident in studies.

I really ........... upset............

why? the started of this year,

everything come toward is positive one,

and now why have to give me such fucking negative to me!!

I can't effort, why ?

I really got study... come and check my exercise here...

I did all.. except chapter one only..

I study this subject early than other subject..

why still given me a F~!

this time really really really, seriously, PAIN. SAD.

ok~ I am just a no brain and stupid girl here...

INTI jail

I hate INTI~

Although I got a lot of frens here..

and I love my frens here....

But!

I really dunno why..

start from this sem,

once I stay in INTI...

I feel like so unsecured, feel like not so safety here..

Is that any problem toward me?

Isn't I was failed one subject,

I started to afraid studies..

might be..

I lost my confident in studies,

I started think that..

I AM STUPID.

This may be is the reason that I scare INTI,

I don't wanna back here..

I want stay with my family..

My only family..

Birthday>>>>>FINAL EXAM

Guys, u all knw?I had passed a wonderful birthday that I ever had.

I love, I really fucking love my friends here.

I love them... they are really different compare to

my sabah fren.

They will care abt me,

They will worry abt me,

They will think abt me,

In other words, they really love me..

firstly, my own gang friends here~

although they did not give me a big surprise,

but they did well and gave me a great gift in my birthday.

I wanna say that million of thx to them,

since they are busy but they still spent their in:

Making card for me,

Buying gift for me,

Making video for me.

Guys~ you all really awesome!!

Give u all a THUMB UP!

I got a cute boxer here!!!

I got a new HTC desire HD phone here!

I got a pretty nice shoe here!! TIAMO!! ^^

Thx for u guys prepare many thing for me!

I really Love its !!

and I will be appreciated it so so much!!

and I must take crazy care for everything!! Muackss! ^^

===================================================

Next celebration is I with my classmate!! My banana classmate!

(well I dunno they set them as banana classmate)

hehe...

Thx for them accompany me whole day from 22th to 23th..

We went to ate PASTE ZANMAI

Nice Food! Not bad here!!

I got a special birthday cake ever!

Thx for my banana classmate here!

After that, we went to ate snowflake!

What a freaking FULL birthday I ever had!

After that, once again!

I got cupcake as my birthday cake again!!!

hehehe!!

This is the gift from Vincent n Bear!!!
thx!! although this is pasar malam brand but I like also oh!!

hahaha!!

============================================

Next round!!!

celebrating wit my family!!

Opss!! T^T no whole family,

just only quarter of them------------ 2nd sis and her husband.

they treated me to eat fish market!

hmm... actually not that nice at all...

after that, CAKE TIME AGAIN!!

haha! this time is the real round cake~

I choose mango cake!

Cz I love to eat mango!! hee

Night time, we BBQ!! hehe

yummy!!!

Yoyoyo!!

BLOWING!!

happy 20th birthday!!!

In a conclusion!!

I fucking happy during this time birthday!!

and I really happy!! really really!!

Thx for everyone !! Thx for u guys!!

MUACCCSKKKKKKKKKKKKKS!

-===============================================

BUT NOW

HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cz FINAL COMING TO KILL ME!!!

T______________T

23th April

Guys, do u all know what is that date mean?

Okay, 23th April is my birthday.

Hrrmmm~ What should i except this year?

First, I do really hope dad buy me HTC DESIRE!! muahaha! xD

But ................ IMPOSSIBLE!

Second, my friends....

What they will buy for me uh?

hahaha~ Don care...

Third, my classmate...

will thy celebrate wit me?

especially my besties he and she, what they will do wit me?

Hehe~

Fourth, him...

That one who going to forget who am I in the world.

are he going to buy me gift?

although he buy me gift I SURE 100% don wan it.

I will not accept his gift.

Cz, I going to FORGET him too.

Fifth,

what wishes I going to make?

isnt only can make 3 wishes?

Horrr... I got lot of wishes to make~

1. My studies.

2. doomsday don come on next year pls.

3. Hope all my friends around me wont leave me alone.

4. I wan HTC DESIRE can? I mean during this year I must get it. can?

5. I want HIM disappear in my mind, my memory, my life.

6. I do really hope my studies can be better and better.

can I make all these wishes during my birthday?

DANCE!

Hmmm... Suddenly feel like wanna learn dance..

because I watched Girl Generation's mv: Tell me your wish.

this mv had showed 9 of them look VERY SUPER HYPER NICE!

Especially their LEGS. OMG!Freaking nice!Seriously!!

Well, I not hope to have their leg.

I just wanna try to dance,since I know to sing and shake a little bit my body.

hahaha... so I dunno is it I can dance or not.

so suddenly I feel like wanna dance.

because I never try before, but I think I can dance.

Hahaha~ but I got no chance to dance.so I think to dance that good enough,

BUT, I hope I got the chance to dance!! haha

HTC Desire HD

Mum and Dad,

can I have my favorite Phone?

I hope and wish to have a phone which I love the most,

but it seem like hard to be real.

because, I'm still a students

hence I couldn't have my own phone which I want.

I just can accept what parents give.

Actually I not angry at that,

and I really appreciated what they had gave,

just like this phone, I have been using this phone over 5 years,

and this phone still remain the same and function still work,

that only the looks is

bit broken. HAHA

since nowadays, the society is develop, and

everyone hand must be with Iphone,

therefore this make me hope to get a new phone.

But I'm not interest with Iphone!

Cz I fall in love with HTC desire HD

which can seriously fight with Iphone 4 nowaday,

but now I just can use to dream to have this phone,

by looking at this picture-----------------

when can I got this!!!!!!!!!!!!!???

pls god!! give me some miracle!!!

莫名而来的不开心

很久很久了，

好久我没有不开心了。

心情突然的不开心，

很久没来了。

今天，

那个心情来了。

有点小不出来的感觉。

一大早床，

就做面包了（因为我开始卖面包了）。

那时候心情还好的，

过了不久，

心情越来越沉重了。

是因为我怕生意不好吗？

应该吧～

可不可以

当我不开心的时候，

有一位人来让我倾诉吗？

我现在很需要，

不管男朋友也好，知己也好。

能让我拥有一位吗？

I REALLY LOVE KOREA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!