7/23/2011

回来了

这个我又来了,

感觉上每当快要Final Exam的时候,我都会不开心。

这次的我,比上次更不开心。

因为........我哭了。

我想是应该我真的很怕很怕...

很怕悲剧重演......因为我真的会承受不起了....

我又在很努力的,很拼命的读...

可是这样有效吗?

因为我觉得我不行.....我做不到...

越是那样我越怕,非常的怕...真的很怕...

再加上我不是聪明人....我不懂我能不能...

但上次证明了,我不能。

我有一直在努力,努力...

但我觉得我不是那么的了解我所读的一切..

我很累很累...我快要崩溃了...真的很辛苦啊~

再加上,

我觉得我和我的朋友们,有变化了...

我又再一次融入不到了...




我需要一个人,我现在真的很需要了。

不能了,我真的不能那样一个人了。

我一个人呆在外面,没有了家人,我真的需要一人来陪我了。

因为我支撑不起了。


好久没那样大哭了。

7/04/2011

exam result

I start to admin that..

I really a stupid..

guess what..

I got F in my exam result..

which mean that....

I failed one subject..

what subject is that...

is QUANTITATIVE METHODS FOR BUSINESS..

something like statistic....

I failed that subject...

I am an accounting students...

I failed calculation...

I only got C2 for my accounting...

C1 for economic and financial...

B2 for english...

what I have to say... is...

I never got a good result...

some more... I got getting worse and worse result...

everytime, once I got my exam result..

once and once again shown that how stupid am I..



Isnt I never try my best?

I din study? I din work hard? I din use my brain?

God, can give me an answer?

why once I work harder my result will be the worse?

am I blowing off now?? or I still don want to accept the truth?

why? why have go give me such knock down to me?

I can't, I really can't accept this attack...

I will fall down, seriously I fallen down already.

I couldn't trust myself anymore, I lost my confident in studies.

I really ........... upset............




why? the started of this year,

everything come toward is positive one,

and now why have to give me such fucking negative to me!!

I can't effort, why ?

I really got study... come and check my exercise here...

I did all.. except chapter one only..

I study this subject early than other subject..

why still given me a F~!

this time really really really, seriously, PAIN. SAD.

ok~ I am just a no brain and stupid girl here...

7/03/2011

INTI jail

I hate INTI~
Although I got a lot of frens here..
and I love my frens here....

But!
I really dunno why..
start from this sem,
once I stay in INTI...
I feel like so unsecured, feel like not so safety here..

Is that any problem toward me?

Isn't I was failed one subject,
I started to afraid studies..

might be..

I lost my confident in studies,
I started think that..
I AM STUPID.

This may be is the reason that I scare INTI,
I don't wanna back here..

I want stay with my family..
My only family..