10/07/2011

I need a boy

Today I get pissed off again~

9/21/2011

=O

今天的我,
还是一样high不起来~

可能还是因为他吧~
都那么久了,为什么我还在原地踏步啊?

虽然感觉不是那么累,
可是厌倦了~

真的好想告诉他,我还在想他。
3年以来,我和他以前的每一件事,
不断地不断地在我的脑里打转。

每一句我伤你的话,你伤我的话,到现在还在我脑里。
好讨厌....

真的很不喜欢一个人静静的时候,
头脑就是不停的想东西。
而且还是偏偏是你的事。
想了又会哭,哭了又能怎样。

你知道吗?别人知道吗?
嗯~没有人...因为是我一个人。
我一个人知道而已。

但是我一个人,我会撑下去的。
哭完了,第二天没事了。
就算第二天也是哭的,没关系。
因为还有第三,第四,第五,第六....

到一百还是那样。
没关系,就这样到永远吧~
因为现在的我是完全.....不懂怎样说~

我只是真的希望就那么有一天,我会好起来....

突然好想大醉一场,或是来点刺激的事吧~
因为一件事在心里已经3年了,
可以说,目前为止没有一个人懂我和他的事吧...
只是靠着自己,用自己的心和自己的心来心谈心...

我真的很想让他懂
我的心是在想什么,可是真的不能~
因为现在的他已经有了新的生活,新的开始..

他和我不一样,
他可以什么都忘了,开心的和自己的生活一起生活。
而我怎样都很难忘掉,就像刺青那样,狠狠地印在我的心里。

为什么这几年来,没有救星来救救我啊~
我现在很混乱,因为我不懂是我自己害我自己那样的呢,
还是别人,还是上天,还是命运,还是什么东西吗?

每次坐在电脑,我已发呆就一发不可收拾了,
因为我的头脑很坏哦,又让我想起你了。

为什么那天要让我和你见到面啊?
不见到就不会想到,不想到我就不会这样。
而且看着你对我的态度,我的心真的很痛很痛。

我已经很努力避开你了。
FB,电话,MSN,只要能联络到你的东西,我一个都没有。
可是为什么就是忘不了?好奇怪哦~

以前我都以为我不是因为爱他才会那么的伤心,
而是因为我真的很在乎这个人啊!
才会因为3年来,我那样的痛。
你知道吗?


9/11/2011

What am I?


WTF?
This week I quite down,
Why?
Just because I found something that I shouldn't know.

I'm quite regret
to read it,
if I din read it, I won't be sad,
if I din read it, I won't cry like pig,
if I din read it,I won't be so suck.

Guess what I
read?
Hmm.... someone's Facebook which I had been hide him for long time,
Just because I don't hope to know any single thing about him,
BUT!
I'm suck, I go and view his profile,
and I saw some post from him & ppl post on his wall.

I saw that, he went to KL play and met up with my another friends,
Why I will be so sad with this, uh?

When I free, I will try to contact them,
hope to have a meet with them,
because I treat them as my friends,
BUT!
everytimes FAILED!
It's ok, maybe they are really busy.

BUT!
that day they all went out to play,
they never call me or contact me,
hmmmmm....
I quite sad..
Hmmm....
NOPE!
I FUCKING SAD!!

I really just realized I'm just nothing at all,
I cried cried cried,
why I have to cry?
just hurt.

I think I really got problem in Friendship this line.

7/23/2011

回来了

这个我又来了,

感觉上每当快要Final Exam的时候,我都会不开心。

这次的我,比上次更不开心。

因为........我哭了。

我想是应该我真的很怕很怕...

很怕悲剧重演......因为我真的会承受不起了....

我又在很努力的,很拼命的读...

可是这样有效吗?

因为我觉得我不行.....我做不到...

越是那样我越怕,非常的怕...真的很怕...

再加上我不是聪明人....我不懂我能不能...

但上次证明了,我不能。

我有一直在努力,努力...

但我觉得我不是那么的了解我所读的一切..

我很累很累...我快要崩溃了...真的很辛苦啊~

再加上,

我觉得我和我的朋友们,有变化了...

我又再一次融入不到了...




我需要一个人,我现在真的很需要了。

不能了,我真的不能那样一个人了。

我一个人呆在外面,没有了家人,我真的需要一人来陪我了。

因为我支撑不起了。


好久没那样大哭了。

7/04/2011

exam result

I start to admin that..

I really a stupid..

guess what..

I got F in my exam result..

which mean that....

I failed one subject..

what subject is that...

is QUANTITATIVE METHODS FOR BUSINESS..

something like statistic....

I failed that subject...

I am an accounting students...

I failed calculation...

I only got C2 for my accounting...

C1 for economic and financial...

B2 for english...

what I have to say... is...

I never got a good result...

some more... I got getting worse and worse result...

everytime, once I got my exam result..

once and once again shown that how stupid am I..



Isnt I never try my best?

I din study? I din work hard? I din use my brain?

God, can give me an answer?

why once I work harder my result will be the worse?

am I blowing off now?? or I still don want to accept the truth?

why? why have go give me such knock down to me?

I can't, I really can't accept this attack...

I will fall down, seriously I fallen down already.

I couldn't trust myself anymore, I lost my confident in studies.

I really ........... upset............




why? the started of this year,

everything come toward is positive one,

and now why have to give me such fucking negative to me!!

I can't effort, why ?

I really got study... come and check my exercise here...

I did all.. except chapter one only..

I study this subject early than other subject..

why still given me a F~!

this time really really really, seriously, PAIN. SAD.

ok~ I am just a no brain and stupid girl here...

7/03/2011

INTI jail

I hate INTI~
Although I got a lot of frens here..
and I love my frens here....

But!
I really dunno why..
start from this sem,
once I stay in INTI...
I feel like so unsecured, feel like not so safety here..

Is that any problem toward me?

Isn't I was failed one subject,
I started to afraid studies..

might be..

I lost my confident in studies,
I started think that..
I AM STUPID.

This may be is the reason that I scare INTI,
I don't wanna back here..

I want stay with my family..
My only family..

4/24/2011

Birthday>>>>>FINAL EXAM

Guys, u all knw?I had passed a wonderful birthday that I ever had.

I love, I really fucking love my friends here.
I love them... they are really different compare to
my sabah fren.

They will care abt me,
They will worry abt me,
They will think abt me,

In other words, they really love me..

firstly, my own gang friends here~
although they did not give me a big surprise,
but they did well and gave me a great gift in my birthday.

I wanna say that million of thx to them,
since they are busy but they still spent their in:
Making card for me,
Buying gift for me,
Making video for me.

Guys~ you all really awesome!!
Give u all a THUMB UP!

I got a cute boxer here!!!

I got a new HTC desire HD phone here!


I got a pretty nice shoe here!! TIAMO!! ^^

Thx for u guys prepare many thing for me!
I really Love its !!
and I will be appreciated it so so much!!
and I must take crazy care for everything!! Muackss! ^^


===================================================

Next celebration is I with my classmate!! My banana classmate!
(well I dunno they set them as banana classmate)
hehe...
Thx for them accompany me whole day from 22th to 23th..

We went to ate PASTE ZANMAI


Nice Food! Not bad here!!
I got a special birthday cake ever!

Thx for my banana classmate here!
After that, we went to ate snowflake!
What a freaking FULL birthday I ever had!

After that, once again!
I got cupcake as my birthday cake again!!!
hehehe!!
This is the gift from Vincent n Bear!!!
thx!! although this is pasar malam brand but I like also oh!!
hahaha!!


============================================


Next round!!!
celebrating wit my family!!
Opss!! T^T no whole family,
just only quarter of them------------ 2nd sis and her husband.



they treated me to eat fish market!
hmm... actually not that nice at all...

after that, CAKE TIME AGAIN!!
haha! this time is the real round cake~
I choose mango cake!
Cz I love to eat mango!! hee

Night time, we BBQ!! hehe

yummy!!!

Yoyoyo!!

BLOWING!!

happy 20th birthday!!!



In a conclusion!!
I fucking happy during this time birthday!!
and I really happy!! really really!!
Thx for everyone !! Thx for u guys!!

MUACCCSKKKKKKKKKKKKKS!


-===============================================


BUT NOW

HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cz FINAL COMING TO KILL ME!!!

T______________T





4/10/2011

23th April


Guys, do u all know what is that date mean?
Okay, 23th April is my birthday.

Hrrmmm~ What should i except this year?
First, I do really hope dad buy me HTC DESIRE!! muahaha! xD
But ................ IMPOSSIBLE!

Second, my friends....
What they will buy for me uh?
hahaha~ Don care...

Third, my classmate...
will thy celebrate wit me?
especially my besties he and she, what they will do wit me?
Hehe~

Fourth, him...
That one who going to forget who am I in the world.
are he going to buy me gift?
although he buy me gift I SURE 100% don wan it.
I will not accept his gift.
Cz, I going to FORGET him too.

Fifth,
what wishes I going to make?
isnt only can make 3 wishes?
Horrr... I got lot of wishes to make~
1. My studies.
2. doomsday don come on next year pls.
3. Hope all my friends around me wont leave me alone.
4. I wan HTC DESIRE can? I mean during this year I must get it. can?
5. I want HIM disappear in my mind, my memory, my life.
6. I do really hope my studies can be better and better.


can I make all these wishes during my birthday?

4/03/2011

DANCE!

Hmmm... Suddenly feel like wanna learn dance..
because I watched Girl Generation's mv: Tell me your wish.

this mv had showed 9 of them look VERY SUPER HYPER NICE!
Especially their LEGS. OMG!Freaking nice!Seriously!!

Well, I not hope to have their leg.
I just wanna try to dance,since I know to sing and shake a little bit my body.
hahaha... so I dunno is it I can dance or not.

so suddenly I feel like wanna dance.
because I never try before, but I think I can dance.
Hahaha~ but I got no chance to dance.so I think to dance that good enough,
BUT, I hope I got the chance to dance!! haha










3/31/2011

HTC Desire HD


Mum and Dad,
can I have my favorite Phone?

I hope and wish to have a phone which I love the most,
but it seem like hard to be real.

because, I'm still a students
hence I couldn't have my own phone which I want.

I just can accept what parents give.
Actually I not angry at that,
and I really appreciated what they had gave,
just like this phone, I have been using this phone over 5 years,
and this phone still remain the same and function still work,
that only the looks is
bit broken. HAHA

since nowadays, the society is develop, and
everyone hand must be with Iphone,
therefore this make me hope to get a new phone.

But I'm not interest with Iphone!
Cz I fall in love with HTC desire HD
which can seriously fight with Iphone 4 nowaday,
but now I just can use to dream to have this phone,
by looking at this picture-----------------


when can I got this!!!!!!!!!!!!!???
pls god!! give me some miracle!!!

2/27/2011

莫名而来的不开心


很久很久了,
好久我没有不开心了。

心情突然的不开心,
很久没来了。

今天,
那个心情来了。

有点小不出来的感觉。
一大早床,
就做面包了(因为我开始卖面包了)。

那时候心情还好的,
过了不久,
心情越来越沉重了。

是因为我怕生意不好吗?
应该吧~

可不可以
当我不开心的时候,
有一位人来让我倾诉吗?

我现在很需要,
不管男朋友也好,知己也好。
能让我拥有一位吗?



2/12/2011

1/30/2011

♥♥Secret Garden♥♥


Another Korea Drama I'm addicted!!!
Which was "" Secret Garden""

HmmmMm, Guys is attracting me and Girls is make me jealous-ing to her..
haha... and some more the song~
All of the OST inside this drama are really nice...

Especially, one group of the guys ""4MEN""
Their sound...HmmMmm I love it!!
I love the song ""理由""
I love the song!!

Another song is "That Man"
Em Em, nice here too!!

Once I listen the song, all of the scene about this drama will all appear in my mind.

I love I love I really loving it!!! ^^

1/01/2011

2010

我打开blog一看~

好多人都为2010年做了总结...

那么,我也应该吗?

嗯~2010年说过的平凡也没那么平凡啦....

从一月开始吧~嗯,不记得了..应该没什么事发生吧..

二月,当然是新年啦~
和家人出国旅行了...我们去了张家界...
而且也有了很好的经验哦...因为下雪了!!^^
三月呢,也不记得了~

然后四月呢,
是我的生日...也刚好是放假..
我和我的朋友们去了kuantan,玩的也蛮开心的。
朋友们也在那里帮我庆祝庆祝了~
五月~也忘了...

六月是我家第一次办喜事啦~
非常的开心,
爸爸也好紧张哦~
家里多了位成员咯~

七月应该是很平淡的过了吧~

八月~是我的朋友们来到我家做客了~
也是一个开心的八月,大家都玩得非常开心....
九月也是中秋节嘛~
也是我第一次的经验哦..
是我第一次和朋友过节日,
还有也和朋友们自己做起灯笼来了~哈哈

十月到十一月也过的平平凡凡~
除了在十一月时是大考,就压力比较大点啦~

过后呢,
就是昨天咯~
事实二月来说啦...

二姐回娘家了~
我们一家人去玩了..
也玩的很开心哦~

然后然后呢,
跨年啊...
在家里咯~
没什么特别...
平平淡淡~

可以说,我好像从来没和朋友一起跨年啊~
没关系吧~
还有时间啊~

可是2012快要来了~
我有点担心时间不是那么得多啦...

不要紧啦~
我会跟着时间走的^^
加油!Fighting!!

2012年,给我更多的色彩吧!!