1/26/2010

I don wan alone

This few days I keep stay at seremban wit my fren which come from seremban.
While stick wit them vry fun.
Everything bad, sad, negative thing. BYE BYE!!
Cz I just knw to carzy wit them.
And now, I alone at room again.
HmmMmm.. suddenly hate the alone feel.
HmmMM.. How? All my true fren just knw how to fooled me.
hMMmm..

1/23/2010

Y.Y

My feeling..
My feeling is it nothing important to the god.? or else.
Im so desperate.
Feel like wanna scold all of them(which hurt me before) one by one and face to face.
But is it meaningfull. NO! is meaningless.
I have no energy.
I everyday ask myself. Why I cant die now?
and then myself just let me knw that Im dare no to die.
cz I love my family. I dont want leave them.
Bcz they are the only treat me as thier sweet heart.
which wont hurt me deeply. give me a lot a lot of breath to live.
But sometimes I really hope myself can die directly.
For example, accident, kill by someone, fall down or else.
HmMmm.. but after I die everything will be fine???
WONT! I just will make my family more sad.
But can tell me I want how to be happy be fun if those fucking thing keep on distrub me?
Im not a no feeling human.
My presonality? is that suck?? or really the bitch am I?
why everyone treat me like tat???
Who come and comfort me? Who come and love me at here...!
Alone came to KL study.
In my mind just think that new environment new life.
But new life doesnt is the best the good.
Everytimes I tot that my life starting stable edi.
Must be have something come and distrub my normal life.
WHY! be pls fair la god! Sorry.



1/13/2010

坎坷

我真的很努力了~
每一天都对着朋友大笑,狂笑,狂玩...
过程中真的很垃圾都忘了干干净净...
过程后很辛苦...什么垃圾都回来了..
不想哭,因为哭了后很累,眼睛会痛..
不喜欢伤心...讨厌不开心的感觉...
可是当不开心时很想哭但哭不出来...
这样更辛苦...头脑会像很多很多...
吵不到人讲我的心里话...不是我不相信我的朋友...
就不懂为什么自己不想讲...写在这里我又懒惰打..
可能也是因为自己的遭遇吧...
信后还是被...不懂...坎坷吧...
HmMmmMmm...我还是很信他..
那天我很不开心,自己忍不住又找他了...
我才发现原来我真的不需要再找他了..因为他没可能会让我的心情变好..
反而更伤...哭得更多...但是为什么我的心里还是对他是我的好朋友呢?
有人告诉我,现在我的人生坎坷...
不是因为神在玩我而是神在平衡着...
我现在那么不开心那么痛,改次我就会很开心很悠闲...
真的吗?可是为什么不开心了那么久还是一样的?
我真的讨厌不开心的感觉...

1/09/2010

T.T

last time I just posted that I happy wit my normal life now.
But why the god always wan to spoil my mood.
always wan get something to hurt me.
God plz be fair can??
I being hurt so long edi.
I really don hope I everyday sleep on bed.
but I doesnt have a sweet dream. Even night mate also cant.
Bcz I cant sleep. tear come out.
I knw I really suck.
But god. fair plzZz.. why thy told me god love everyone.
YA!!! god is love everyone but except me only.
I got a lot to say. but im tired wit tis.
God. fair plsSss fair plSssS...

1/07/2010

my feeling to 2010

HmMMmm... 2010 had passed one week more.
The 1st feeling to me is nothing.
Nothing special in my life of 2010.
Everyday swimming din go for class.
Sleep, movie wit fren, drama wit fren, chit chat wit fren,
hang out wit fren.
HmMMmm... Even this is not i ascpet in 2010 but don hope will be suck as last year.
There Fucking shit at 2009.
So I don hope to great or best.
I just hope to be normal.
No tear no pain no hurt no feeling.
Normal normal then I will be appreciated the life of ME!
And happy wit family is more important to me.
Really seem like fren doesnt important to me edi.
I just wanna to be normal don be the best.
Mayb this is the most important to my life of 2010.
YAYAYAYAYA!!!! SOME MORE!!!!
I hope no love in my life of 2010 too!!!
And I knw I can do it.
Since I had ignore 2 guys which is treat me really good.
But dunno why I scare guy treat me good.
Mayb this call 恐惧感.
Haha... so suck am I.
BTW!! I love now I love to be like that.
When I wan alone I can be alone.
When I wan together I can be together.
That's great!